Know Your Worth


I know we’ve all heard it a million times before, you’re worth so much more than this grade, this job, this person’s opinion, etc.  I still struggle with who I am on the daily. I am constantly comparing myself to what I see on Insta, VSCO, ads, and my friends.  I know comparison is the thief of joy (thanks, mom), but it is such a battle to fight off those thoughts of not being enough.  Especially with failed relationships, classes, and friendships that keep popping up to the top of my thoughts.  

The days when I’m feeling at my lowest are the days where I find I need Jesus (and my workouts) more than EVER!  If I’m feeling unworthy because of my body, I’ll go run a mile or dance to happy bops in my apartment, and remind myself how STRONG I am! If I’m feeling unworthy because of a bad test score, I’ll recount the times I really put in the work to receive a good grade and give myself grace.  

{“Comparison is the thief of joy”}

Lately, where I’ve been feeling really unworthy, has been in my love life, or lack thereof.  I went through a pretty awful breakup this fall, and it took me a few months to recover.  I still have my days and my moments, but I found turning to Jesus and finding my worth in Him has helped me to see myself in a better light. I had actually been doing pretty well with healing before the pandemic took over, and it wasn’t until the past 2 weeks where my thoughts began to fill with doubt. It’s so easy, especially because all of my socials seem to be filled with couples quaratining together.  I start to wonder why I’m not enough.  What does she have that I don’t?  If I was skinnier, prettier, smarter, wealthier, etc maybe I would be enough.  But truly I realize that’s INSANE because I was NOT put on this earth for a man (despite what society might try to tell me)!  I was put on this earth for SO much more!  

I saw this quote earlier today, and it really stuck with me “I’m not searching for my other half because I’m not a half.”  And man, isn’t that just the lie we’re fed on the daily.  You are not enough.  The thing is, that’s how society gets us to play its little game.  If we feel we aren’t skinny enough, we’ll buy all the flat tummy teas (please don’t btw they’re such a scam).  If we are told our worth is based on who loves us, we’ll download the dating apps to fill the void in our hearts.  If we feel like we won’t measure up to our family’s expectation of us, we’ll spend hundreds of thousands of dollars to pursue a career that we’ll hate.  The list of examples go on and on, but I think you see my point.  We are told to live in the future and the past, but never the present.  We are told that we always need to be better, to be perfect.  When in the HISTORY of humankind has there EVER been a flawless person? NEVER!  Well, except Jesus, but He was still God, just in the flesh.  So, if we know that we won’t ever be perfect, why do we continue to kill ourselves trying to reach impossible standards?

{“Do not conform to the patterns of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.” -Romans 12:2 NIV}

Romans 12:2 has come up over and over again since quarantine started, and truly it is a testament to how I’ve been feeling the past few months, years even.  I am truly sick of feeding my mind, body, and soul poison.  I know what’s damaging and what’s healing, but I still found myself stuck in the damaging patterns for the majority of my 22 years.  Why? I think it was because I was trying to validate myself based on others’ opinions of me.  Truly there was never one time where I felt whole or happy because of what someone else thought.  Sure, I like getting likes on my socials and positive comments, who doesn’t?  But those feelings were fleeting.  The ones that stuck with me the longest, were the negative ones. I know this is because biologically, our brains are wired to see the negative to protect us from danger.  But this is an evolutionary trait that those of us living in first world countries really have no need for anymore.  That is an INCREDIBLE privilege!  Because of our fortunes, we are ALLOWED to have the space to transform and renew our minds to see the good, always. We are given the freedom to trust and live without fear!  

We can truly live in the moment, because no, we cannot control the future.  I think we’ve all learned that as much as we plan, we can only control our reactions and direct actions, as true testament to the upheaval of life due to COVID19. I feel as though I’ve wasted a lot of my life and peace because of the opinions of others, and I’ve learned in the past few months that if it costs me peace, it’s NOT worth it!  I don’t mean peace as in chaos of life, but the peace of my soul.  We all need to feel uncomfortable to grow, which some may argue is relinquishing peace, but in my opinion, growth brings us closer to true peace.  

Imagine how much better life would be if we were no longer at war with ourselves.  I want you to pause and imagine if you could put the self-loathing into a block on your chest and then throw that block away, how much freedom would you feel?  What could you do with your time and energy to serve others if your thoughts and actions were no longer based on the opinions of others?  What would it look like if you could give yourself the love you were so freely giving to others? Personally, I would be able to love on those I’ve overlooked and those who I really don’t want to love.  Maybe it would start a chain reaction, where we would live in a world that looks at the quality of your heart instead of the quantity of your Instagram followers.  Like the poem Picking More Daisies suggests, life is truly too short to live by what others think of you. 

{“…and we take captive every thought and make it obedient to Christ.” -2 Corinthians 10:5 NIV}

It’s a daunting task for sure, being able to know your worth and TRULY believe that you are VALUED ALWAYS! I think the best way to begin the journey of self-love is to take it moment by moment. It is no easy thing to control your thoughts, but it can be done.  One of the most grounding verses, in my opinion, is 2 Corinthians 10:5. The way I see it, to make my thoughts obedient to Christ means to mimic Him in every way, aka radically Love.  Radical Love, to me, means loving unconditionally. In order to properly love others, we must first love God, then ourselves.  This was something from Pastor Mike Todd.  He used it in the context of relationships. But guess what, not just significant other relationships, in EVERY relationship, so it works here. If I’m basing my value and my worth on worldly things, I’ll never measure up and it is not okay.  However, if I’m basing my value and my worth on what Jesus thinks of me, I’ll still never measure up and it IS MORE than okay! He loves us ESPECIALLY in our brokenness, and we need to love ourselves and others ESPECIALLY in the brokenness. 

When I start to go down that rabbit hole, I try to fill my mind with other things, like reading an uplifting book (Love Does and Everybody, Always are 2 of my favorites).  I’ll FaceTime a friend or my mom.  I’ll look up journaling prompts on Pinterest. And when those don’t work? I’ll read my Bible and pray.  Those two things work every single time without fail.  I need to honestly work on going to my Bible and praying first, but sometimes I need to be loved by my people for a little bit. And that’s okay.  

Here’s the thing: life is a long journey.  We are going to mess up in little ways and big ways.  What makes life easier is to TRULY BELIEVE that even in all of the messiness, we are VALUED, LOVED, and CHOSEN! I even got a tattoo on my wrist as a reminder that I am His BELOVED (as my friend Carolyn likes to remind me constantly). We all are!

How INCREDIBLE is it that the Creator knows my name and wants a relationship with me?! Honestly, that’s more important than a relationship with anyone on this planet. 

How can you make little changes in your thoughts and habits to truly believe that you are VALUED and LOVED no matter what? If you need help on where to start, I recommend reading Get Out Of Your Head and Nothing To Prove by Jennie Allen. When you’re feeling down, maybe phone a friend or blast happy music. (This blog post was for sure inspired by Khalid’s “Know Your Worth”, which is definitely a happy bop!) Or even looking up little quotes on Pinterest to set as your wallpaper for the day.  Any little change helps!

Keep picking those daisies!

**Graphic by Taylor Abrigo (check her out at https://www.spaceycowboy.com !!!)**

5 thoughts on “Know Your Worth

  1. Nadine,
    I met your mom by chance on her honeymoon with your dad in Greece. We were so thankful to have met them on a bus with locals (carrying chickens, seriously!). I’m sure she is so proud of you beyond words and I just have to say that your message is a breath of fresh air in these troubled times. Congrats to you on your blog; you clearly have a big heart and a wise perspective. Please send my best to your mom and keep on writing!

    Fondly,
    Lori Sheron

    PS My youngest son is a journalism major at SDSU and I hope he has the courage to write as heartfelt and eloquently as you! (Although he’s a sports writer so probably not lol! 🙂

  2. Lori –
    You are so tremendously kind and thoughtful to have taken the time to write such a beautiful and heartfelt message to Nadine. Your sons are blessed to have a Mama like you. HUGE congrats to Cam on his graduation from Hastings. Sending love to you, Chris and your fam. xo Corinne

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